I’ve been reading about habits and the science and psychology of why breaking bad habits and creating new habits is so hard. It turns out that habits have triggers, actions, and rewards. Knowing this is the key to success. Sounds simple, right? Well, the challenge is in identifying the trigger, the action, and the reward. Here’s an example: the alarm goes off (trigger). You go to the kitchen to make coffee (action). You drink the coffee, get the boost and enjoy the moment when it’s just you and the coffee (reward). The good news is that you can insert a new habit during the reward phase. So, in this case, you could start reading a book while you enjoy the coffee. Pretty soon you will associate reading with rewards and whenever you have coffee you will probably want to read. That will lead to more reading and voila, you have a new positive habit.

I’ve been working out with a trainer for 2 years now. Same trainer. Same gym. Same routine every week: upper body...

I was recently sitting in the pool of potential jurors for a federal case. I was juror #4. Frankly, I did not want to be there. A federal criminal case usually means days of testimony and deliberation and I was in the middle of some projects with deadlines, a meeting with over 50 people to prepare for and another trip out of town. So when juror #3 told the judge that she was a hospice nurse, I started crying. Silent tears came down my cheeks and my lips started trembling because I was transported back to the last days of my husband’s life. AND I was going to have to answer that I am a widow to the dreaded question “do you have a spouse or partner?”

Well, I did not get selected for the trial. I actually got to go home with the promise that I will not be called to serve as a potential juror for another year. What I really got, though – the lesson we learn when we take time to reflect-- was an opportunity to look inside myself.

As a coach, I often ask my clients...